Ditch the “loser” self-talk and change the conversation!
Imagine two job candidates interviewing for the same entry level job. Both are equally presentable and have the same credentials on their resume.
- Candidate A says: “I’m smart, eager to learn and willing to work hard. But I can get overwhelmed and make careless mistakes.”
- Candidate B says: “I get overwhelmed and make careless mistakes. But I’m smart, eager to learn and willing to work hard.”
Which candidate would you rather hire?
Far more employers would prefer Candidate A, who created a positive first impression. Because she led with her strengths, by the time she mentioned her weaknesses, they were an afterthought. Candidate B, on the other hand, created a negative impression right off the bat by defining herself by her weaknesses.
It’s easy to see how presenting yourself in a negative way to other people would undermine your success. But what kind of picture do you present to yourself?
If you were a glass, would you see yourself as half-empty or half-full?
If you feel your life, value and character is defined by the negatives aspects of your ADD / ADHD, you may be bombarding yourself with negative put-downs every day. Does your self-talk include “loser” messages like these?
- “I won’t take that art class because I know I won’t do the assignments.”
- “I won’t apply for that job because I know I don’t interview well.”
- “I won’t try using that planning tool because I’m bad at planning.”
The fallacy in these kinds of statements lies in the assumption that there is some irrevocable fate that you must accept, which would necessarily prohibit you from moving forward. Thinking this way creates a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure.
While past tendencies, bad habits and lack of skill may be facts, they don’t need to continue to define your future. You can choose to change the picture. Start by changing the conversation you are having with yourself. Next time you catch yourself thinking why you can’t do something, ask yourself, “what CAN I do to achieve my goal?”
- I want to take that art class, so I need to carve out time in my calendar each week to do the assignments.
- I want to get a better job, so I’ll get training to improve my interview skills.
- I need to become good at planning, so I’ll practice using that new technique I learned and ask for feedback to get it right.
Granted, it’s often difficult to determine your own ADHD solutions without a roadmap. You can get that with my Thrive with ADD Self-Coaching Workshop-in-a-box package. Or consider custom ADHD Coaching.
Once you view your ADD challenges as problems to be solved rather than inevitable barriers, you can go from feeling frustrated to being fulfilled.
Start your Self-Image Makeover: What’s the last “loser” statement you told yourself that held you back? How could you change it to create possibilities? Please SHARE and COMMENT HERE!