"TODAY
I FAILED TO..."
Why Do We Emphasize the Negative? |
Most of my clients tend to begin their coaching sessions
with a recitation of all the actions they failed to complete that week.
It's obvious that these shortcomings are on top of their mind. Yet when
I try to draw out what they succeeded in, that's much harder for them
to recall. Even when I remind the clients of how far they've come in forming
useful new behavior or moving towards their goals, there's a strong tendency
to assure me that there is so much more they didn't do.
A typical exchange may be:
Coach: How has your week gone?
Bob: I got nothing accomplished this week.
Coach: Let's look at the actions you wanted to take. Did you call
three website designers to get pricing?
Bob: I didn't call three. I just called one, and he gave me suggestions
of how to lay out my ideas to he could work on them. Then I got so involved
in doing that, that I never called the other two.
Coach: Did you come up with plans for the website?
Bob: I have it laid out on paper to the point that I can give it
to a designer. I've decided all the pages and headings, and picked some
photos.
Coach: That's great! And now you're even more equipped to get accurate
quotes on pricing, or to go with the first designer right away.
Bob: Yeah, that's true. But it bothered me that I never got the other
two quotes. All I could think of was that I didn't follow through again.
No doubt, we will create strategies that will help Bob stay on track
with making all the calls he intends to. But the more important theme
here is that Bob - and so many others - are more accustomed to dwelling
on areas where they've disappointed themselves than on acknowledging that
they are moving forward. If Bob looked back on his week with pride in
what he DID accomplish, he would probably do even more.
OUR CIRCULAR MINDS
As ADDers, we tend to move in a circular way rather than straight ahead.
This means we might not progress in a "logical" sequence from business idea
to budget to marketing plan to web design. Instead, we might jump from business
idea to web design to marketing plan to budget... and along the way, think
of three entirely new aspects to add to the business that create a whole
new marketing niche. If we follow where our mind takes us with a strategy
and intention, we could end up with a much more exciting and successful
business! The key is to realize when we're going off on a tangent that takes
us off-course, versus taking positive action that is simply in a different
sequence than we had planned.
In Bob's example, his first phone call led him to think through new ideas,
which he then took immediate action on. Taking advantage of the creative
way his mind wanted to work at that moment helped him think through an
important stage in his business development. He could make his additional
phone call for price quotes at another time.
Important coaching breakthroughs for Bob to make would be to:
1) acknowledge that he DID accomplish something important that week; and
2) to recognize when it isn't necessary to do things in sequence.
Once he starts honoring and respecting the way his mind works, he can
go with his own flow and come out ahead. I'd be thrilled if he started
his next coaching call by telling me what WORKED for him - and then we
could discuss how to tweak what didn't work.
Now, what great thing did you do this week towards reaching your goal?
ENTREPRENEURSHIP & ADD
Telephone Class - Thursday, Feb 19 |
DATE: Thursday, February 19
TIME: 9:00 PM Eastern Time
PLACE: At home on the phone
COST: $20
Entrepreneur, self-employed,
running an autonomous business unit or satellite office, or contemplating
independence -- this class is for you!
ADDers are natural entrepreneurs, since
we often need to do things OUR way, rather than follow traditional methods.
It is believed that a much higher percentage of entrepreneurs and self-employed
people are ADD than are in the working population as a whole. Our traditional
abilities to hyper-focus, multi-task and think creatively are enormous
strengths when in business for yourself.
But having great ideas and lots of drive
do not automatically lead to success. The typical pitfalls experienced
by entrepreneurs read like an ADDer's profile: they include hyper-focus,
impulsivity, poor delegation, difficulty prioritizing, over-committing,
and losing focus by going in too many directions at once. Sound familiar?
In this class, we'll go over critical
components of running your own business, developing strategies that draw
upon your own ADD strengths to help you stay on track.
You'll get thorough WRITTEN NOTES via email right after the class, so you can relax and concentrate during class time. The class format is 60 minutes of learning, and 30 minutes of question/answers and DISCUSSION.
This class is led by Bonnie Mincu,
MBA, MA, ADD Coach and entrepreneur.
HOW TO REGISTER
Register and pay through the website
www.thrivewithADD.com .
Coming February 26!
DEVELOP A TIME SENSE"
Telephone Class
1:00 PM Eastern time
Our most popular class, "Develop a Time
Sense," will provide you with a simple tool and all the instruction you
need to dramatically improve your time sense within days.
A poor time sense, so often a trait of ADD, can lead to chronic lateness, disorganization, and a feeling of overwhelm and paralysis. It may affect both your relationships and your success at work.
Just a few days of using Bonnie Mincu's TIME SENSE EXERCISE will make an amazing difference. Don't miss this class for only $20. Sign up now at
www.thrivewithADD.com.
ADDA CONFERENCE - St. Louis
May 13-16, 2004 |
Imagine an entire conference of ADD adults, designed especially for ADDers! Join hundreds of ADD - AD/HD adults for an exciting ADDA conference in St. Louis, MO on May 13-16, 2004. Individuals with AD/HD and their families, as well as the professionals that work with them, will benefit from the creative, comprehensive, and up-to-date resources that ADDA provides at its annual conference.
Presenters include AD/HD experts / authors such as Ned Hallowell, MD, Michele Novotni, PhD, Sari Solden, MS, and John Ratey, MD.
In five transformational days (including the pre- and post-conferences), attendees will acquire a wealth of knowledge as well as many innovative tools and ideas to manage AD/HD.
Participants will stay in a chalet-style hotel in a 42-acre entertainment complex.
FOR DETAILS AND REGISTRATION:
www.add.org/Conf2004 .
|
BEYOND
PROCRASTINATION
"The Keys to Getting
Started" E-book
YOU
CAN''T FOLLOW THROUGH IF YOU NEVER GET STARTED!
At
last, there''s an easy-read e-book to help you identify what keeps you
from getting started on projects, study, work and goal-fulfillment. After
coaching and teaching hundreds of ADD adults, it is clear to me that simple
"procrastination" doesn''t tell the whole story. "The Keys to Getting
Started" e-book deals with all the aspects of procrastination, distraction
and paralysis that we experience, and gives some tips (the "keyes") to
help start new habits and thinking.
For only $8, download it now
www.thrivewithADD.com!
"THRIVE
WITH ADD" AUDIO WORKSHOP CD or Immediate Download
THE KEY TO SELF-COACHING
Here's a tool that provides new insight
into yourself or a loved one! The 74-minute "THRIVE WITH ADD" Audio
Workshop gives an overview of ADD, and an in-depth exploration of
challenges and strategies for "Work, Tasks, Projects & Study." It
contains guidance for self-observation and coaching, real-life anecdotes.
You'll finally REALLY understand yourself, and will be able to help your loved ones understand you.
ORDER
IT NOW
at www.thrivewithADD.com
in audio download ($15)
or CD ($19). |
CELEBRATE
THE DIFFERENCE
Fun Illustrated Products Show Off ADD Strengths
We''re
multi-talented, multi-tasking, artistic, smart, and never at a loss
for something to do.
Check
out colorful new T-shirts and mouse-pads with illustrations
that celebrate these special qualities. They''re for sale on the
website at:
www.thrivewithADD.com/products
Great
for gifts!
|
COACHING
FOR
ADD ADULTS
"Coaching
is a way to develop effective strategies to help you reach goals of greater
performance, change or transformation in your life. Coaching will help
you reach important decisions, and deal with people, events and organization
in an optimal way. As an ADD Coach, I help you understand how ADD works
with you in particular, so that you can work WITH your own flow and rhythm,
rather than against it You can reach goals you never thought possible!"
Bonnie
Mincu, "Thrive with ADD" Coach
"Thrive
with ADD" SUBSCRIPTION INFORMATION
SUBSCRIBE:
Sign up to receive this periodic free email newsletter here www.thrivewithADD.com
You will be sent an email asking you to CONFIRM your subscription before
it is entered into the mailing list.
PLEASE
FORWARD THIS EMAIL to anyone interested in ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER.
QUESTIONS?
Contact:
Bonnie Mincu, Personal & Business Coach
www.thrivewithADD.com
www.bonniemincu.com
212-614-7317
bonnie@bonniemincu.com
©
Copyright 2004 Bonnie Mincu. The "THRIVE with ADD Newsletter" may only
be redistributed in its unedited form. Written permission from the author
must be obtained to reprint or cite the information contained within this
newsletter.
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