Do you sometimes despair that your ADD traits make you a poor role model for your kids?
What if all this forgetfulness, the misplacing of things and your otherwise scatterbrained missteps turned out to not be such a bad thing after all?
We’ve all been there. You show up five minutes late to a PTA meeting in jeans and a T-shirt with the faint, crusty outline of a Kraft macaroni and its coat of cheese on the left sleeve, pick your way to an empty seat and settle in between two Perfect Moms. They’re both beautifully dressed, with shiny blow-dried hair, nails gleaming a sweet neutral.
Your eyes flit briefly to manicured toes peeking out from a high-heeled sandal, and you’re reminded of the color of the hibiscus you photographed on your last vacation, but this year, the family’s planning a lake trip up north, and how will you keep the kids busy? There was a flyer in the mail today about the kayak sale, and what was that estate sale sign you saw on the way here, and on the way back, you should stop at the market and pick up some – what? Is someone asking you a question?
It’s hard thing not to feel like a square wheel when you’re a parent with ADD, but you’re not alone. Jennifer McGaha, a mother who’s been through a similar situation, shared her insights in her post in The Huffington Post. She pointed out that what you see as shortcomings or flaws might actually be really, really good for your kids.
Adults with ADD / ADHD can be impulsive, and when you’re raising kids, that’s not always such a bad thing.
As your children grow up and reach adulthood, it’s a fair bet they will look back on their childhoods and have no recollection of the permission slips you misplaced or forgot, or the times the laundry wasn’t done in time for School Spirit Day, or that you’re typically the last parent to pick your kids up. I’m willing to bet that despite what a poor job you may think you’ve done, your kids will look back with delight and a great sense of humor on the unconventional things you most likely did together – in part because your ADD sets you apart from other moms and dads, but in a very good way.
Please, if you do one new thing today, let it be this: Forgive yourself for what isn’t your fault. Stop measuring your worth as a parent against those who drum in complete synchronization, and embrace your own rhythm. That’s a gift you can give yourself today – and I know that, too, will be really, really good for your kids.
Accepting your own shortcomings and misplaced attention is one thing; addressing it is another. With professional coaching from Thrive with ADD, I can help you identify certain triggers or offer advice on how to move past distractions. Let’s work on helping you truly Thrive with ADD. Call me today at 914-478-0071 to schedule a free phone coaching consultation.